How to be a better person in five easy steps

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A better person can be the continuous exercise of overcoming in the life. We all want to achieve the maximum possible happiness, and we know that this happens to be a better person, but we usually fail to focus our vital decisions. In general, people do not act unfairly-or directly wrongly-with their peers in a conscious way: they do so because they believe they are doing the right thing, even if it is not, or because they have not valued the consequences that their decisions have on other people. Many times we are so engrossed in achieving success (at all levels), that we forget to improve the way we treat others, and ourselves. We will never be happy if we can not be a better person before and better, like everything in this life, can be educated and trained. These are five aspects that you must take into account to be a better person and achieve true happiness.

Work gratitude and altruism for a better person

The saying goes that “it is well born to be grateful”, what it does not say is that, in addition to being positive for those around us, gratitude is a powerful tool to feel good about ourselves and likewise the aspect of our character more strongly associated with life satisfaction. Gratitude can help us overcome traumas and stress, increase our self-esteem and help us to dissolve negative emotions.

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The greatest expression of gratitude is altruism: doing good without expecting anything in return. Numerous studies have shown that solidarity is directly related to well-being, health, and longevity. Acts of kindness make us feel good about ourselves and the positive emotions we generate make us have a greater capacity for psychological and physical recovery. Therefore, volunteering is one of the healthiest activities that elderly people can do.

Keep your social networks in good condition for a better person

We do not mean to be on Facebook all day, but to keep the connection with our friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. Good friends should be careful not to get lost and it is well known the ability of friendship to generate happiness in our environment. Depression rates have been growing steadily for 50 years and one of its main causes is loneliness. You can believe that you only need your partner, your parents and some other friend to be happy, but the truth is that selfishness and laziness in matters of friendship are expensive. Not in vain, having neglected our friendships by losing contact with them, is one of the aspects we most regret on our deathbed.

Be optimistic for a better person

Pessimistic people are not worse people, but almost unconsciously tend to generate a demotivating environment that is not beneficial either for themselves or for the people around them. If we want to improve as people and be happier, we must, therefore, work our attitude towards life, something very studied in recent years by positive psychology. As this current of psychology promulgates, happiness is not something that can be achieved: it is not a goal, it is a state that must be trained every day. Basically, everything that surrounds us can have a negative reading, especially in these days when pessimism is overwhelming. If we do not seek an optimistic reading of things, unhappiness will be a constant and we will spread this to our loved ones.

Optimism can be worked by following three practical tips. Try to concentrate your time and energy on things over which you have control, if the events overflow you ask for help or change strategy, but do not stagnate: perfectionism is a great source of pessimism. Secondly, if you have to face a complicated or directly fateful situation think that better times will come, and transmit hope to your loved ones. Finally, make an effort to distinguish the different facets of life. Try that the disagreements that, for example, may arise at work do not affect your family day to day and vice versa. This is very important if you want to take care of the people around you, be it your family, your friends, or your co-workers, who do not have to put up with someone in a bad mood for matters that are beyond their reach and that, in the background, they do not concern you.

Give less importance to the material aspects of a better person

Psychology has shown on many occasions that money does not give happiness and, although the expression has become an unconvincing commonplace, the data show that, past a point, material well-being is not related to our happiness. If we put our illusion in the hands of material aspects, we will most likely have a chronic unhappiness, because we will never have enough things.

One of the aspects most studied by philosophy, religion and, nowadays, by positive psychology, is what we know as “the meaning of life”. What do we want to achieve as we pass through it? What are our goals? The fall of the great ideologies and the decline of the religions have caused an absence of vital sense that in the western societies is almost pathological. We must consider daily what we want to achieve in our lives and, surely, we will realize that the material aspects have no importance in the final sense of this. Happy people have values to maintain and goals that are worth working for.

Do what you love for a better person

No matter how much money you make, you will never be happy if you spend your time doing something you do not like. It is clear that not everyone is lucky enough to work on what is most attractive to them, but we can all change for the better. For this we must work on self-efficacy: the confidence and conviction that it is possible to achieve the expected results for each proposed goal. Obviously, we will not achieve everything that we propose, but the problem for many people is that they do not even consider changing, for fear of facing difficulties that may arise, and end up generating nonexistent problems.

This advice should not apply only to our work. Perhaps, as things stand, it is unrealistic to find a more interesting position than what we have (although we can do our job in a way that is more satisfying), but we can do what we really like in our free time. According to a Japanese study carried out among retirees, the mortality rate is significantly lower in those people who practice a specific hobby. The equation is simple: if we fill what we do, we will be happier, and this happiness will be transmitted to our environment. It is very easy to distinguish a person who is doing what he likes: radiates happiness and spreads optimism.

So, life is a continuous exercise of overcoming. We all want to achieve maximum happiness, and we know that this happens to be a better person.