Self-esteem comes after work well done

Self-esteem comes after a job well done. It is not a lottery that can ever touch; it is the fruit of a personal disposition. When we look for a result, we have to understand that that entails a process.

One of the pillars that make up the human personality lies in self-esteem.  When we lack self-esteem, we feel inferior, helpless. And discouraged and do not trust much in our ability to handle things. We often waste our efforts in directing attention to external comparisons, focusing our thoughts and actions to level ourselves.

Considered as an attitude, it is the habitual way to perceive ourselves, to think, to feel and to behave with ourselves. It has a lot to do with how we face ourselves and evaluate our own identity.

First, to speak of the cognitive component in self-esteem is to make a distinction between what is understood by self-esteem. And what is understood by self-concept. Self-concept is defined as the image we have of ourselves in the cognitive, perceptual and effective dimensions.

The self-concept would be associated with the representation that people have of them. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is understood as the positive or negative assessment that a person makes of his. Or her self-concept, including the emotions associated with them. And the attitudes they have towards themselves.

Self-esteem comes after

Having goals to pursue, set goals and fight for them is intimately related to well-being and mental health . Setting goals positively affects other areas of our lives and allows us to control important psychological aspects such as attention, self-confidence or motivation.

One of the main reasons or symptoms of a depression is the loss of illusion and interest for vital objectives.

Sometimes, our way of thinking contains illogical phrases that undermine self-esteem. Some of these generic and irrational beliefs are:

• Believe that we must be competent and effective in everything.
• We have to be loved and have the approval of all the important people in our environment.
• The things that happened in the past are decisive in our current and future behavior because they will always have a definitive influence and will happen again.
• It is easier to avoid than to face the responsibilities and problems of life.

Human misfortunes originate from external causes and we can do nothing or almost nothing to avoid or control the pain and suffering that they cause us.

The intervention on self-esteem is not simple; in favor we have its dynamic and sensitive nature, therefore, modifying it in our favor becomes an exercise in precision.

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with the parking brake applied

What is ahead and behind us is not more important than: what we carry inside and how we see what we carry inside – and with what we define ourselves. The quality of life is influenced by self-esteem – it implies how each person perceives and values ​​them, which modulates their behavior at family, social and individual level.

A low or high level of self-esteem affects our relationship with others and will be reflected in the social dimension and in our skills that we deploy to face different challenges.

In conclusion, having a low level of self-esteem makes we feel incapable, entering a negative loop through self-destructive mechanisms, such as negative feelings, obsessive ideas, misconceptions that interpret the thinking and feeling of others. In short, it makes us less functional and precise.

Why is it important to raise your self-esteem?

Increase self-esteem is the key to a person can feel fulfilled and happy. This is not just about looking beautiful in the mirror, feeling confident in the decisions you make or having happy thoughts throughout the day. It is much more than all this.

True self-esteem is one that allows you to be yourself at all times . Knowing what you need to feel fulfilled and how to transmit it with security is the secret so that your life has the sense it deserves.

Since you were born you have not stopped learning things at school, with your parents, grandparents, friends … teaching after teaching you have been growing as a woman, with the values ​​that little by little society has transmitted to you. However, the main teaching to be happy has not been applied with the same rigor. Knowing how to increase your self-esteem and value yourself has never been your priority.

You have to learn that self-esteem knows what your virtues are and believe you have them.  It is not enough to know that you have them, but you have to be aware that you have them and empower them to the outside.

You can have the most impressive and wonderful dress in the world with the most spectacular details. However, if you cannot wear it to go out, what good is it? Your virtues and gifts are the same.

All people know that self-esteem is vital to feel happy. For fear of rejection, shame and other values ​​that you have learned in childhood, few people admit not being happy. All try to show that they have a strong and solid security.

Your life is in full motion, it is not static and, therefore, your self-esteem also changes  depending on the situation you are living. If you feel happy, your self-esteem is stable. However, if you live a bad situation like the loss of a loved one, your happiness collapses, as does your safety and your self-esteem.

For that reason it is essential to take care of and increase the security in yourself day after day . It must be something constant. If your self-esteem is not high it is impossible for you to enjoy your life and the relationship with the people around you. Because:

• Loo at life with the same eyes: Your decisions depend on your mood, whether you are happy or sad at the time of taking them. A good self-esteem gives you emotional stability or, in other words, control of your emotions. When these are stable and constant they make you see the opportunities that life offers you.
• Achieve your goals: Trust and security is the basis to achieve all the things you set out to do. To get what you want you must first believe that you are capable of obtaining it. Through  mental control you can get what you propose.
• Having more healthy social relationships: Being the same at all times, radiates positivity. Be happy and be happy in your life causes people to want to be with you and feel good by your side. Self-esteem changes your negative friendships for positive people.
• Feel realized with your life: This is the greatest achievement and the only way to achieve happiness. Increasing your self-esteem and security changes your degree of happiness. It is necessary that you erase from your life any situation that has marked you or is hurting you. To be safe and happy you must close all the doors you have open. One of the techniques I use in my practice to  forget everything I’ve experienced.  Through this technique you will be able to forgive and forgive yourself for any mistake of the past. Start from 0 and get rid of your reproaches!
• Be desired by your partner: Look in the mirror and feel beautiful, special and attractive. There is nothing more exciting for a man than his wife to show herself before him as a safe and desired woman.

Women have the need to feel free, desired by our partners, respected by our children, loved by our friends. In short, feel happy and have the recognition for all the effort you make every day. The only secret to achieve all this, is to be yourself at all times, consider yourself deserving of all these experiences you so desire.

What level of self-esteem do you have?

Ask yourself these questions to find out how your self-esteem is:

How I feel?  Analyze this question from the depths of your heart. Put aside your mind and  focus only on your emotions, on the inside.  Write on a paper all the feelings you have at this time without having anything else present, just your heart and your pencil to describe what your reason often tries to hide. Feel if you are happy, if you feel recognized, if you lack affection, if you have feelings of sadness, if you feel loved by your partner, by your children, by your family ….

What can I change to increase and strengthen my self-esteem?  Once you have felt your heart, it is time to listen to your mind and your reason, but always with a positive attitude and courage. Analyze  what you can and should change about your life . Think about those situations that you must change to increase your self-esteem, your happiness and your security. Be brave, organize your thoughts and encourage yourself to do different things to feel better, recover your self-esteem!

Is it really that serious?  Observe your feelings and analyze which are the ones that most influence your happiness. Have patience and ask yourself for each sensation, how serious it is. Only then can you prioritize what makes you feel bad, fix it and increase your self-esteem, mood and safety in a faster way.

Actually why does it bother me?  In the negative sensations that you have when you are alone, your brain performs a self-defense function, associating this sadness with different situations of your life. That is, if you feel angry is because your work partner makes your life impossible, if you feel sad is because your partner is not enough with you ….

 And so infinitely. However, you have to learn to deepen your emotions and see if all this bothers you is because of others or because you have low self-esteem, which makes you need the approval of everyone around you.  Analyze and deepen your emotions, only then you can change those attitudes that you feel are hurting you.

Each of these responses will shape your reality and make you see and feel more clearly what is necessary to change, what you want and what you no longer need in your life. It is time to put aside what they want and what others feel.

Nowadays, thanks to new technologies it is possible to know what level of self-esteem you have. In the consultation, since it allows me to receive a physical and mental report every 30 seconds. It is possible to know in a faster, direct and objective way the level of self-esteem through technology.

Symptoms low self-esteem

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you like about yourself or what other people like about you?

To be correct and that everyone feels comfortable with you. That imposed need to please others has been a very important effort. Having to change even your personality.