Resilient families are characterized by having faced more than one difficulty. In that process, they have strengthened their alliances, learned resources and accumulated reserves to face life not only with greater integrity, but also with more love, humility and hope. It is not always easy to stay united before certain destiny challenges. But there are those who achieve it together with theirs in an effective way.
The term resilient families may catch our attention; however, we are not facing a new concept. Or an innovative approach to resilience. Now we know that the development of this competition is given in many cases by our family environment. That primary scenario in which we grow is often key to building the roots of resilience.
On the other hand, there is a relevant aspect that experts in this area point out, such as doctors Roland Atkinson, Allan Martin and CR. Rankin, (2009). It would be very beneficial to train families in the components that build this dimension. Resilience should be planted on sunny days so that it grows enough to help us on stormy days. We do not have to wait for adversity to cultivate this tool so necessary for our psychological well-being.
Resilient families how are they?
Salvador Minuchin, psychiatrist, pediatrician and recognized expert in family therapy, conceived the family from a systemic perspective. Where all its members relate and influence each other in a decisive way. In this way, the ability to face such concrete realities, as well as economic. Or health problems will depend a lot on the personality and resources of its members and how they interact with each other.
There are families, for example, unable to give effective support to theirs. They are those social microcosms where there are no synergies. Where there is no firm family unit and alliances fail when things go wrong. We can all hear this type of reality and we know without a doubt the consequences.
Thus, experts in the field such as Dr. Fiona Walsh, of the University of Boston, explains in a study that one of the keys to guarantee the psychological well-being of the human being would undoubtedly be able to teach and facilitate parents and mothers. Those pillars that build resilient families. Let’s know those components below.
Attachment and support
Every satisfactory bond requires feeling the imprint of affection, of security, of healthy love that respects without harassment that supports without conditions or blackmail. In this way, the first pillar of resilient families is undoubtedly that of attachment and support, where all members confide that warm but strong bond that will not allow anyone to fall. No matter what happens, that family nucleus will always remain united, supporting and nurturing emotionally.
In this family we believe in love and respect. We do not tolerate lies; we do not accept the words that hurt and the behaviors that they despise. In this home we defend hugs and beautiful words. We respect opinions, even if they do not coincide with ours. We also value spending time together, speaking with sincerity, asking for help when requested and supporting always and in any circumstance. These ideas are simple examples of those values that should form the basis of every resilient family.
Cohesion and flexibility
An essential premise of resilient families is that the t ode is greater than the sum of its parts. What does this mean? Basically, in the family unit does not stand out only that father or mother who holds all the power and authority. A family is an alliance based on interdependence, respect and unity, where everyone is equally valuable.
In turn, and not least, we have the principle of flexibility. In happy families there are no rigid patterns, there are no molds in which everyone must enter to satisfy that ideal of the father or those desires of the mother. Each member has the right to grow, to choose, to build him. Because flexibility is synonymous with respect and freedom.
Communication in resilient families
Communication is that indispensable tool that pumps all bonds, which makes possible any alliance and the overcoming of all problems. A family that facilitates spaces for communication, empathic listening, assertiveness and understanding, can face together almost any circumstance. Few dimensions are so basic in our social fabric that knowing how to communicate and allow the other to communicate with openness and appreciation.
Another essential ingredient in resilient families is sharing time together. It is true that it is not always possible to do it as much as we would like, but it is essential that each shared moment be of quality; hence the importance of rituals. With this last term we refer to those moments that we repeat every day and with which, we nourish our alliances and affections.
Thus, and as an example, sharing with the children those moments next to their bed where they read a book or just talk to ask them about their day is a ritual that strengthens the relationship, which improves trust and ties that always endure.
Father and son crashing a hand
To conclude, resilience in the family is shaped by those dimensions where love, respect. And commitment to promote and ensure the care of all members. Remember, the whole is always greater than the sum of the parts and this must always define every family unit.
Resilience in families forms a fabric capable of creating strong bonds with which to face any adversity. It is therefore key to plant those seeds of fireproof strength in sunny days to help us in times of storm.
Strong Families: What are they and what do they do?
When the family fulfills its functions, it is known as a functional family, when it has problems or does not achieve that compliance it is known as a dysfunctional family. However, throughout its life cycle, families face crisis that. If not successfully avoided, could force them to move from functionality to dysfunctionality, with the risks that this represents for each of its members. For psychology, each person and each group contain in themselves resilient elements that allow them to prevail over their crises, face problems and find solutions, that is, they present strengths.
The sociologist Ignase De Bofarull argues that Strong and healthy families can solve their problems on some occasions, on other occasions they need the support of the extended family or the community. On others they need the work of expert advisors that will help them recognize and energize their strengths. Therefore, families develop their strengths in an autonomous, family and social way; and also advised.
Recognizing, understanding and using the strengths of each family progressively converts them into strong families, which does not mean that they stop having conflicts. But that they will develop tools that allow them to face and solve their crises in an effective way, reducing their risks and consequences.