when you stop taking things personally there is something that the human mind specializes in, it is in making everything that happens to us have a meaning for us. For that reason, sometimes curious experiences are given. There are many situations that, if we analyzed them coldly, we would see that they are neutral and that they do not have any transcendence, and yet they make us focus our attention on them and to associate them with an emotional charge. On many occasions, we react excessively to them, believing that practically everything that happens to us is important and it happens because we are there.
Of course, this phenomenon also occurs in our personal relationships. The fact of doubting about the intentions or the emotions that hide behind the actions of the others, or of what they say, can cause that some people see an attack in the most ambiguous indications: a gesture, a change in the tone of the voice, a constructive criticism … For them, this article will be of special interest: how to stop taking things personally? Let’s see it through a series of basic guidelines. Read more: Most 8 things to life happier
How to stop taking things personally
Every psychological change involves a transformation of our beliefs and our daily habits. Bearing this in mind, and that to get to improve in certain aspects of the personality you have to work hard and work constantly, follow the following recommendations to stop taking things personally at the slightest hint of possible attack or conflict.
Explain your personal evolution project
Not a contract with legal validity, of course, but one of a word. It is something very simple: you should tell the people you have more confidence that you are trying to stop taking things personally so as not to get angry or offend you unnecessarily. Just by doing this, you are already modifying your social environment so that it is less tempting to throw in the towel and let yourself be carried away by your old habits.
Following this advice, you will be able to create expectations both in yourself and in others, so that you will indirectly boost your motivation to continue forward and try to take personal relationships with a more constructive attitude.
Analyze your type of hostility
When we say that someone takes things personally, we are simply referring to adopting a hostile or defensive attitude in situations of ambiguity in which their self-image or their public image could be compromised by a comment or an action of others. This encompasses a certain variety of behaviors that do not have to resemble each other.
So it’s good that you stop to think about how that hostility appears in you when you take something in a very personal way. In this sense, you must distinguish between at least three tendencies: aggressive attitude, passive-aggressive attitude, and resentful attitude. In the first case we speak of people who are clearly angry and express that feeling of anger, in the second the hostility manifests itself in a more subtle way, without directly facing the other but treating it with contempt, and in the third one does not express hostility, but It hides the fact that our feelings have been hurt.
Depending on which of these categories you locate yourself in, you can decide if your work should focus more or less on preventing hostile escalation against others, or on reinforcing your self-esteem so that you do not get hurt by a variety of social experiences.
Detect which situations trigger that emotion
Are there specific situations in which you consider that you take what happens in a personal way? Name them For example, some of this occurs in relation to their professional career, for others, these experiences appear only in the family context, or even only with some people. Knowing these things will help you decide if you should manage differently only certain personal ties, or if the problem is in a facet of your personality.
Work your self-esteem
Yes, only this task already carries with it a whole series of exercises to perform, but it is an indispensable step. The reason for this is that there is always some insecurity when someone takes things too personally. At the end of the day, this is a tendency towards catastrophic and somewhat paranoid thoughts, feeding the beliefs that around us there are hostile forces that can wound us through the most insignificant details.
For example, something relatively simple that you can do in this sense is to lead a healthier life and take more care in general. This will positively affect how you feel, and allow you to break old vices that made you feel bad and adopt a more pessimistic perspective on what is happening around you.
Part of zero in your relationships with others
Sometimes hostilities are still there out of sheer inertia. For example, because in the past someone misinterpreted the intentions of the other, a misunderstanding was created that was perceived as a lack of respect, and reconciliation does not come because both parties refuse to admit their mistakes. Creating a symbolic ending for this stage makes it much easier to rehabilitate those bridges of empathy that will facilitate breaking down this tendency towards paranoia.
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Finally, does the stalking personality of some other person make you feel that you are worthless? Do you misinterpret the jokes of people and consider them subtle insults? Most of the time, the way a person act has little relation to your personality. This is more related to the way they raised that person, the way they deal with emotional problems or other variables such as their mood, energy level or health. It is important to keep it in mind if you notice that you blame yourself for things that are out of your control. To stop taking things personally, consider the situational factors as well as the motivations and experiences of the other person. Improving your self-confidence and communicating assertively is essential to deal with the comments of other people.